BURGLARS WITH BALLS AND HOME SALES

We are all on deadline, hence the quiet of these here pages. But my ‘hood is a-hoppin’:

1. With terrible crime. The area directly behind and south of us has had twenty burglaries in a row. This holiday weekend there were six, four on Saturday night alone. It has us locking up the house so much I locked myself out the other day. Honestly thinking of packing heat. What I’ve heard is that the burglar is so–excuse me, ballsy–he walked into one house Saturday night with his sticky fingers while the owners were entertaining on the patio!

2. Said ‘hood wanted to join our Hillcrest Estates patrol but the last thing we need is to water down our coverage with these gutsy birds on the loose–so they have formed their own.

3. One homeowner is reportedly so freaked out she’s putting her house on the market. After all, the guy did invade her home while she was cooking dinner…kind of like that commercial.

4. Security alarm sales are up. You don’t suppose the condo developers are out there rubbing palms together?