ROWENTA’S IRONING SURVEY

Rowenta has published a hilarious survey on ironing, with results from 15 major cities including Dallas.

In Big D, we admit to making grilled cheese sandwiches with our irons. We iron in the nude. 16 percent of us iron our socks. A shocking 22.6 percent of us iron our clothes while wearing them, which reminds me of a boyfriend who showed up on our first date with a scorch mark on his neck after attempting to press his collar, in situ.

Dallasites iron pumpkin costumes and giftwrap, sometimes whilst singing or wearing muumuus. We iron on cutting boards (done that), on the hoods of cars, and while driving (wouldn’t do that). 85.9 percent of us iron our jeans, while 64.8 percent iron T-shirts (I feel slovenly all of a sudden).

Dallas is boring compared to Cleveland, where they sometimes have sex while ironing. They are also known to iron their money (after it’s freshly laundered, I presume?). In Denver, they use skis as ironing boards. In Chicago, they iron in bathtubs and on pool tables. In Atlanta, there’s a guy who irons the sling of his M-16, while in Los Angeles there’s someone out there ironing magazine articles. Worse, in Washington, D.C., they’re ironing phone books.